When the unexpected happens

Not everything in life goes as planned, and I'm sure you've experienced this many times. Despite all your efforts and careful planning, there are things you simply can’t avoid, and they often don’t seem fair. When we first became parents, we didn't anticipate the challenges ahead; we focused on the joys and the blessings. In some cultures, it’s even considered taboo to discuss difficulties like illness or hardship— you just don’t talk about them. So, many people start families with high hopes, expecting the best. While having a positive attitude is essential, what happens when things don't go as expected?

If you find yourself facing a tough situation—whether related to learning challenges, health issues, or disabilities—remember that there is always support available. You don’t have to go through it alone. A good counselor or a doctor can guide you through the necessary steps.

Here are some important things to keep in mind:

1. Denying the situation doesn’t help. The best way to cope with challenges is to accept them and deal with them one step at a time. Bad news can be overwhelming at first, but there's always a way to navigate through it.

2. Every child is unique, and so is every situation. It’s crucial to research the specific issue you're facing, always considering your family’s unique circumstances. The support you receive should be tailored to your child’s and your family’s needs.

3. It’s okay to feel disappointed. Some situations require changes in how you live, and it's normal to grieve the expectations you've had for your child and family. Things might not go as planned, but these unexpected turns can still lead to a fulfilling life when following the right approach.

4. Build a strong support system. Choose the people around you carefully—positive and reliable friends, family, and professionals can help you navigate difficult moments when you feel exhausted or discouraged.

5. Maintaining a positive attitude doesn’t mean ignoring difficult emotions. When you are overwhelmed, it’s important to talk about your feelings with someone you trust or a counselor. Feelings tend to get out of proportion when we don't express them.

6. Take care of yourself. Eat healthily, get enough rest, and find ways to relax. Whether it’s through a walk, reading, or a hobby, taking care of yourself enables you to care for your child even better.

7. You don’t have to carry the burden alone. Sometimes, our sense of responsibility leads us to deny help from others, but remember that this situation isn’t your fault, and you don’t have to handle everything by yourself. Whether the help is big or small, support from family and friends can make a world of difference.

8. Look for the positive in every situation. When I first heard this advice, I was skeptical—how could there be anything positive in a tough, unexpected situation? Gradually, I realized that there are things that can’t be seen or touched, yet they are deeply meaningful. An encouraging word from someone who helps you face the day, a hug from a loved one who says, “We’re in this together,” the comforting presence of a friend who won’t give up on you, and the sense of community that rises in times of need— all these remind us that we are seen, loved, and never alone.

Life’s challenges may sometimes feel overwhelming, but we need to remember that there is always light to be found, even in the toughest moments.

DisabilityAdvice.org Offers a complementary resource designed for parents of children with learning, physical, and intellectual disabilities, providing guidance on managing conditions such as dyslexia, ADHD, cerebral palsy, down syndrome, and more. Their guide includes actionable advice on accessing educational resources, securing financial support like SSI, and empowering families to support their children’s unique educational and developmental needs.

Check the complete guide here: disabilityadvice.org/child-disability/​